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Sunday, July 5th, 2009
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1:37 am - Into the distance
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I'm staring down several milestones for this journal this month. And I need to make some changes in my life. Not necessarily here, although here too. I like to think I'm pointing in the right direction for some things, but...I don't know. And with others, I feel like I've regressed further. I hate it.
I'd like to think I'm ready to make those changes, to take action on the things that need action. What's the hold up? Why can't I take control of my life again, which is the one thing I most desperately want more than anything else? It'd be easy to make excuses about my own failings, but I won't. I have plenty, and working in concert with the poor circumstances that keep bedeviling me, things aren't really going the way I want them. At all. And every step forward seems to be followed by three steps back.
Well, anyway, I'm going to bed. Time to contemplate other things as I attempt to sleep, I guess.
current mood:  gloomy
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| Saturday, July 4th, 2009
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1:15 am - Independently Speaking
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I have a special holiday entry up over at the blog, if such a thing excites you.
So, a week ago, this week held a lot of promise. And while it started out strong, it seems to be lumbering to its conclusion. Too bad. I was really optimistic, and I'm still not sure that's misplaced optimism. And yet? Yet I have to be patient more and more, and it's driving me crazy. Because all I EVER seem to do is wait patiently. And then it never happens after I do. Plus, other things in my life start falling apart randomly.
I'd sure like, one, a little stability. Then, boy, would I like my patience to pay off in some fashion. I'm trying to remember the last time it did, but the memory seems so long ago now. I'm not asking for an overnight miracle, but just a little shake-up so I'm not stuck alone every single night would be nice.
It's pretty lonely right now. I'm trying to change that, but it's hard.
Perhaps later today will be better. Perhaps will even be excellent. Perhaps.
current mood:  lonely
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| Friday, July 3rd, 2009
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12:48 am - I don't see how this can end well
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After tonight's rainstorm, I am on the verge of having a huge hole in my ceiling.
I don't see how this can possibly end well.
current mood: uncomfortable
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| Thursday, July 2nd, 2009
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12:42 pm - Wowwowwow
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Good afternoon, where applicable. Taking little bit of a break from trying to sort through my stuff and vacuuming my car to post a wee update. I'm planning on taking a walk later, which may be asking for trouble. Still, I need it (the walk, not trouble), so I'll brave it. I'll have plenty of time to catch up on my bizness this evening.
I've got some interesting things going right now, but nothing I'm going to discuss here for the moment. I am going to try to get the blog running a bit more regularly, and maybe even have an ROJ update in another month or two. Here's hoping, at any rate.
And now, back to THE GIANT GILA MONSTER.
current mood:  busy
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| Wednesday, July 1st, 2009
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10:26 pm - Comics That Will Never Be Reprinted
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| Tuesday, June 30th, 2009
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11:56 am - take me in your arms, rock your baby
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So there has been a lot that's been good, or at least intriguing over the last few days. There's also been some time to reflect on my past and bittersweet memories. I'm talking about a past well before there was a journal for you folks to be reading. I had a bit of a return due to an odd set of circumstances and...well, it made me think about some of what I've lost from a more innocent time in my life. I'd never want to go back and lose all the amazing things since that time. I just wish I didn't have to give up some things that were valuable to me to get here.
Oh well, such is life, and it goes on.
current mood: melancholy
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| Monday, June 29th, 2009
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12:18 am - Toei Tokusatsu Hero Movie Box - Disc 5
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| Friday, June 26th, 2009
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10:43 pm - this week
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*I may have finally started on the road to getting my roof fixed.
*My car's windshield now has a significant crack.
*I ordered 26 vintage comics and they were all in stock.
*I may have met a new friend through Craigslist, of all places. Developing...
There's a lot more, but that will do for now.
current mood:  tired
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| Thursday, June 25th, 2009
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11:53 am - Dr. Thursday & The Magic Teacup
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Well, so far, today has not started promisingly. The call I made a couple of hours ago has not been returned. This makes twice now for this very thing, and it's frustrating. I can't very well do anything about this problem if I can't talk to anyone about it.
I got an answer from someone on one of the dating sites this morning. She chose to close our communication because she is pursuing another relationship. I'm not surprised - I hadn't heard from her in a week so I thought this might be the result. I'm sort of mildly disappointed in that I thought we had potential, and we had gotten past the initial stages. Oh well, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again. And in all sincerity, good luck to her.
I did get an interesting response to my Craigslist ad last night. Yes, it was from a real person. This makes three authentic women who have replied to that ad. Oh, and one dude who got his hopes up way too high. Anyway, this young lady merited a return e-mail. I'll talk more about this some other time. At least if it amounts to anything.
One door closes, another one opens? Maybe...
Catching up on some of my reading, and hopefully doing some stuff with some of my filing. I've let a lot of things get disorganized, and I'd like to get that straightened out. It's not awful, but it should be better.
Later, I want to write something for the blog...and maybe something else. We'll see.
current mood:  okay
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| Wednesday, June 24th, 2009
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2:03 am - waitaminute
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I was logged in all day, posted an entry to my blog, did a ton of other stuff, and still never updated the journal????
For shame, doc.
I should be going to bed soon, but I'm still catching up on some of that stuff. Soon though. It'd be nice if eHarmony was working, though.
current mood: busy
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| Monday, June 22nd, 2009
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8:11 pm - Dallas Comegys
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| Sunday, June 21st, 2009
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10:14 pm - got to pay your dues if you want to sing the blues
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So this hasn't been the most fantastic weekend ever, but I guess it will do. I'm kind of tired of my life sitting in neutral no matter how many times I try to kickstart it. It makes a lot of other stuff more acute, and that's not good.
Also, I got all of my amusement from the wrong sources today. At least it gave me something to do.
current mood: apathetic
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| Saturday, June 20th, 2009
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1:10 am - Batman : The Black Casebook
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| Friday, June 19th, 2009
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10:59 pm - Because the night belongs to lovers
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I think I'm going to try to write something later. Other than this, I mean. I'm sitting around trying to find the ambition to do something interesting, but it is sort of elusive at the moment. At least I am making a little bit of a dent in my reading.
Oh, I am probably going to see about making some art happen soon. Though it won't be by me. Insert mysterious music here!
current mood: blah
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| Thursday, June 18th, 2009
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9:58 pm - 1982
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Today was not a bad day. I didn't have to spend money on the car this time. I did get to talk to some of my friends. Sorry to hear about the fishy though.
I finished BATMAN : THE BLACK CASEBOOK last night. Fun book!
current mood: artistic
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| Wednesday, June 17th, 2009
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10:10 pm - where has the time gone?
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| Tuesday, June 16th, 2009
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10:54 pm - Sit Down, Shut Up, and Dance! (wait...)
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Took a road trip today with ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) harvestmoon38. We didn't get much accomplished other than driving and looking, but that's OK. Plus, this may be a precursor to future solo jaunts. I guess we'll see what the future holds.
Hilariously, we passed directly by a place where I'll be mailing a package in a couple of days. I totally should have brought it with me! I need to tell that story sooner or later, as it is pretty funny.
The soundtrack for the day was ABBA and Billy Squier.
current mood:  hot
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| Monday, June 15th, 2009
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7:06 pm - This May Prove Helpful
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Some tips, from me to you.
*If you have to include the phrases "I'm not shallow, but..." and "I don't mean to be rude, but..." in whatever you are saying, then you are being just that. Sorry to break it to you.
*Don't make assumptions about the life of a complete stranger, especially when you have never talked to them and are basing your opinion on a little bit of tossed-off writing.
*There are times when brevity is best. Giving a brush-off to someone is definitely one of them. It doesn't require a dissertation explaining the perceived faults of the recepient. They'll get the message with just one or two sentences, honest.
*If you're going to give a negative and potentially deflating response to an e-mail, don't wait almost two weeks to do it. Either stab that knife in immediately, or let it go. Silence can speak volumes, too.
...Why no, this isn't based on anything that happened to me at all. Why do you ask?
current mood:  annoyed
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| Sunday, June 14th, 2009
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12:27 am - You haven't missed a thing
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My ambition to compose an entry, or even read LJ, over the last couple of days took flight like a frightened sparrow. Not that there has been anything really exciting that I can discuss. In some ways, that's good. But it's also bad, because it means nothing good exciting is happening. Oh well.
A book I was really looking forward to getting has been cancelled without explanation. Rats! Guess it's back to the back issue sites for me.
I also just missed someone tonight because I wasn't paying close attention. That was really too bad, because I wanted to talk to them. It's been awhile and I've been itching to catch up.
Guess I'll work on a couple of things and maybe call it an early night tonight. I can probably use the sleep, but I'd have enjoyed the company, too. Working on that.
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| Thursday, June 11th, 2009
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10:38 pm - I'm Ready
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The phone is fixed. My car is (hopefully all the way this time) fixed. And I have some leads on getting some other stuff accomplished soon. Except for the thing that started me on this quest in the first place. Well, even that sort of has begun, but it is frustratingly out of my hands what will happen.
Today I read something small and minor that was somehow huge to me. I'm certain it had nothing to do with me, but it sounded like it did. It sounded a whole lot like it did. It was like a secret code message tied to an arrow shot into my heart. It was truly the last thing I needed to see, which makes my accidental discovery of it all the more bothersome.
I e-mailed the author of this thing asking about it. I dunno if I'll get an answer, but I just want the confirmation that it's all a coincidence. I figure even a lack of a response will supply that. This piece made me think a lot of unwelcome thoughts, and I'd just as soon bury them right now by contacting the person instead of lingering over them.
I'm hoping all of this is in preparation for me to appreciate something good coming my way. Be nice, wouldn't it?
current mood:  anxious
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| Wednesday, June 10th, 2009
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10:44 pm - Thundermask
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1:58 pm - Still Waiting On That Run Of Good Luck
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I am sitting at Amy's house, because it turned out my car wasn't as fixed as we thought. Now I've lost a day of work to this particular misfortune, because I was on my way when it conked out again. Fantastic.
Seriously? I never took my good luck for granted, so I'm not sure what this is supposed to prove to me. But it's getting very, very old. I'm not asking for the world on a silver platter, but a little bit of something starting to go right would be welcome.
current mood:  down
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| Tuesday, June 9th, 2009
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10:37 pm - Let's Groove Tonight?
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A list
1) My car is fixed. Yay! Bad fuel filter. I also had the latest in my long line of tires with damage get patched. Honestly, no idea about that.
2) My home phone is not fixed. Boo! I know how it needs to be fixed, but actually doing this is a bit more problematic. Hopefully, that can be handled by Thursday.
3) It's a LITTLE annoying that I'm getting a steady stream of available, compatible women delivered to my inbox, and I never hear a peep out of any of them. One supposes this happens with something like eHarmony, but it is vexing. I'd just like to know!
4) I am definitely getting more in tune with my love for 70s and 80s funk music lately. No one knows why.
current mood:  headachey
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| Sunday, June 7th, 2009
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11:00 pm - don't wanna
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This has been kind of a nutty week.
I paid up for eHarmony, and among my batch of new matches was a girl that I worked with 10 years ago. That was a surprise right there. Though I have to confess, eHarmony has been very promising so far. My fear is that all of my matches are either older profiles or people like me who were too cheap to pay the full fee. I haven't gotten much response so far, despite the fact that I've gotten a lot of positive matches.
Except for one. Oh, she was a positive match. And she was interested. AND we had a lot in common, so it was appealing. Except...it became clear to me (if not her) that we wanted different things. There's nothing wrong with the things she wanted, but they aren't what I want. That would have been problematic at some point. Even with that, I might have let it continue. But there were other factors to consider, too.
So I let it go. I feel horrible about it, but I would have been wasting her time if I'd let it continue. I am certain it was the right decision for both of us, but it's a hollow feeling nonetheless. The search continues...
Oh, I guess I should mention the Craigslist ad has actually generated a couple of legit responses. Yes, really. Still weighing what to do with that.
I had a very...strange and unlikely conversation yesterday. "Unlikely" in the sense that something I had figured wasn't going to happen might just. Well, it still probably won't happen, but it's not as out of the question as I might've thought. Weird! It would be fun and amazing if it did, but not the final answer.
There's also someone new in my life, who found their way into it purely by chance. I think she is still reading here, so I felt like I should give her a shout out. I haven't forgotten you, and the interesting twists and turns of the last week or so. At some point, when we have a better idea of what it all means, it will be easier to write something. Maybe it will even be eloquent?
Let's see, there's been the Yahoo Personals girl who wasn't real, and the co-worker who turned out to have been a match on another dating site. I'm probably forgetting some things, too. And yes, then my car decides to leave me on the side of the road on Saturday night. It got handled relatively well, but I still have no clue what is wrong or when it will be fixed. I've also got the logistical nightmare of my commute issues until it is. Sigh.
Anyway, I think that's enough for the time being. Thanks to all the cool folks who have been there for me, including that hour long phone call that was both welcome and constructive. At some point, something has to pay off. Right?
current mood:  confused
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| Saturday, June 6th, 2009
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10:43 pm - hey there, Saturday
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Well, there were interesting things learned today. But then I had car trouble. My wheels are currently sitting at the mechanic's. Wasn't nearly as much of a nightmare as it could have been, but I'm worn out as a result.
Later.
current mood: exhausted
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hopeful
chipper